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THE ABYSS

Roman Abramovich could recruit 856 Karate Sensei to provide protection for twenty-four hours a day and a pajama withdrawal abundant, 365 Michelin star chefs rustle up carrying one of 10 dishes every day of the year and an anti sweat when things get dull, 20 platinum R & B divas sing their greatest hits while prancing horse unicycles diamonds insufficiently integrated pure unabashed joviality of it, but one thing I could never do, it seems, is to recruit 11 players for him to win the Big Cup. The more you try, as far as it seems to get. Avram Grant Chelsea in the final - and now the head of history's most expensive football could be about to launch its first ever group stage

"We can not talk of departure," says André Villas-Boas, but it is far from the mark of a shot from John Obi Mikel: because everyone is talking about the possibility of Chelsea going out tonight, what with them to beat Valencia at Stamford Bridge to be in the tournament. A 0-0 draw could

well enough, but we all know it is less likely that a roll of toilet paper tester to keep a clean sheet. Then you need tonight Goals galore: The good thing on a front of 50 million pounds, eh? Oh.

course, not really blame AVB is that Chelsea are in this situation. The hiring of Chelsea, has been poor in recent years to prevent spoilage. Even if they do not collect a win tonight, they will not win the Big Cup and probably not even qualify for next season by the league. BAV is trying to convince a last hurray tired troops and insists that Nicolas Anelka and Alex have been asked not to say that the license is plotted a mutiny. "The players are happy with what they do," trumpeted a trial. "We saw a great team in Newcastle, with a strong focus and ambition of winning in a field where many of our opponents have lost points this season against one of the best defenses in the league. Note that the value of three gives this team a lot of credit. "If Chelsea lose tonight, it could be a matter of how credit AVB. Romano count on it to rebuild

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from 19:45 for live coverage of Chelsea 0-0 Valencia MPC Doyle and 'Paul Olympiakos 1-0 Arsenal Reserves

QUOTE of the day

"The other kids my age have chosen to Leeds, Manchester United or Liverpool and Sunderland had reason to Charlie Hurley was playing in midfield, was an important center of Ireland" - Martin O 'Neill pays attention to suggestions that his membership in the club now runs could have gone to a young man hunting glory climb aboard the train of the series ... ah Winn.

Let your fingers

TALK

In a world full of mouth-foaming so desperate to be offended that a rough middle-aged man jokingly requesting the execution of the workers on strike in a television can stimulate hysteria Nationally, the people even more outrageous that you can "t stand which is probably not the wisest. As tempting as it must have been for Luis Suarez to greet Fulham fans singing "Cheat! Cheat! Tips!" greet him with a finger and traipsed off the pitch after the 1-0 defeat to Liverpool last night, the pantomime villain Uruguayan probably resisted the temptation to do so and ignored. Or maybe they blow a kiss instead.

Asked after the game if I had to talk to your player on his half-raised digits, one point Kenny Dalglish, said that until he had seen photographic evidence that Luis was a Cottagers move for varied n 'take the word of another person. But at the same time a good lawyer could probably say that Luis broke just as I was about to push a pair of glasses are invisible to the bridge of the nose, the evidence against the player is fairly conclusive, which means Dalglish could have talking to him, probably to say something along the lines of "Hey Luis, the next time the opposition fans are giving him abuse, please do not give them the finger, so I don ' not have to deal with such nonsense. "

Dalglish has enough on his plate right now, what he and his troops lost three points, the center has lost midfielder Jay Spearing to the suspension until the day of St . Stephen, and face the prospect of losing Mr. Suarez also has a couple of games after the FA investigation to examine the images digitally enhanced response to shock the fans of Fulham.

fairly sharp, Dalglish shrugged philosophically with his press conference after the match, referring to, but without complaint, a variety of injustices visited his team for the arbitrator. "Jay has won the ball. Probably annoying the referee with his followers through, but not their fault if there is someone there," he growled, when asked about his midfield dismissal of the young. If Suarez adopt the same line of defense after being brought before the FA peaks, expect to claim that it was stretching a little finger, but it was not his fault, there were several hundred Fulham fans standing in front of him when not.

fiver

LETTERS

"A big thank you to the Fiver to give a chance Kettering Town is a public discussion (Wednesday Fiver letters), but can be ordered now, I beg the" Fiver family "to try to a collective mind Jedi Tonight at 7.45 trick to convince the match officials and players from Darlington received not only a team, but certainly there are 11 of them on the court and perhaps one or two sub too. Because it looks dirty as ever our last game, I thank the gods of football to be played in ensuring a cold and wet Tuesday night 10 miles from "home" in the ancient land of our rivals in the game cut close to a city without transport links and major Kettering on TV - almost certainly help to attract a crowd shocks "-. Simon Richardson

"Let me be the first of possibly millions of points of pedantic Edward Lovett (Friday letters) that a valid response to any Poser is really a Jeopardy question. So the correct answer to "What Chris Clough probably meant when he wrote" dollars "in his statement of evidence to the contrary pedantic ... blah blah blah" should really be "What is money? - not just" money. "" - Sean Kelly

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